sexta-feira, 8 de outubro de 2010

11:12

It's been six years and I still cry listening to Winning Days song. It's curious how this lyrics can perfectly get inside my head and makes me remember almost everything about my childhood.

I went to the psychologist yesterday. It was not so good as I thought but it was nice talking to someone you never meet before. Actually, I felt bad 'cause I totally know that if she could chose, she was not there talking to me, hearing my bullshit. Anyways, I'm thinking if I should back or not.

There are lots of things happening at the same time, and maybe that's the why I fuckin' prefer writing in english than in my mother tongue. I should stop thinking about all these things but they are just showing up each second. Mom's worried about me. I know she is. And I fuckin' know that there are lots of eyes and mouths talking and laughing about me, but I just don't give a shit. I totally know that I should stop blaming myself, get outside and press my fuckoff botton. But I just can't. Even if I try so hard to fix things, those moments will always makes me feel down. Yeah, those moments. I keep asking myself where the fuck are them, where the fuck are all those words and those dreams. Maybe they just disappeared. Maybe not. Or maybe they never happened for real.

I should metion what's happening. But how could I? There are so many things happening and I just can't separate. They are interconected. So fuckin' interconected. You probably will think "Okay, another teenager complaining about life" and that's exactly what you thought. Nobody will never know what really passes on people's mind. We will never understand why there are so many feelings inside us that make us feel better or not. You and me are never free until we're cast away.

And I will never understand why I still think about those moments.
I want them back.
I know they will never back.

That's when the troubles begin.

2 comentários:

  1. youre soooooooooo right.
    haha being a woman sux sometimes..

    btw, i dont know why you insist in sayin that your english sucks. it's really good!

    and i love your posts!

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  2. aw bb, taack! Good to know you like them, I also love your posts. Ahhhmm, I say that because sometimes I geeet so confusing, hahaha. Anyways, tack igen :)

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